“And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth.”

That is from the first book of Samuel, Chapter 17, Verse 49.

Okay, that's what happened back then. It just so happened that an old buddy of ours, Bob Bob Bobbinn, from Corpus Christi, Texas was there on vacation. When he saw the big fella fall, all the folks around just sort of ignored the rock. But Bob thought it would make a good souvenir to take back to show his two kids Seeing as how the batteries had gone dead in the video cam and he was plumb out of film in the 35mm, he needed something to take back with him. That there rock seemed like a real good idea. When he picked it up, he started to wash the blood off in a nearby stream (he couldn't read Hebrew so he didn't heed the sign that said “No Blood Rinsing In The Stream”), but before he bought himself a great big fine, he noticed the strange way the blood had splattered on the rock. It was so surprising, that he turned to show somebody else but all he saw was this ornery looking constable just waiting to slap a big fine on old Bob for attempted rock rinsing. Bob decided not to show anybody the odd way the blood had splattered on the rock. He’d just take it home and show it to the kids.

 Bob was afraid that he might wipe that blood splatter pattern off of the rock so he didn't put it in his pocket. Well that turned out to be a problem when he got to the airport. When he tried to go through customs this kind of excited fella kept yelling something at him and he couldn't figure out what he was saying 'cause he didn't speak Hebrew. Finally a lady strolled up who knew how to speak both Hebrew and Texan and told Bob that there was an export regulation on rocks with giant blood on them. He'd have to go outside and leave the rock out there. Well Bob ducked out of the customs guy's sight and stuffed that rock right in his pocket and had no trouble getting back to Corpus Christi.

He darn near forgot about that rock in his pocket until his wife, Bobbie, was about to do laundry and found the rock. She asked where Bob got the rock and what the paint on it meant. Bob didn't know anything about any paint, just that funny looking blood stain, but, sure enough, when he looked at the blood stain it had changed. It became something like paint.

Bob carried the first Goliath Rock around in his pocket for a while, then, one time they, Bob, Bobbie and the kids Little Bob and Little Bobbie, were on vacation in Mexico. While they were driving deep in the interior, the car broke down. So they started walking back to a little village they had passed a while back. ‘Bout half way there, the stopped by a little brook that had no business even being there in the desert, to rest and get a drink. While they were resting, Bob got to wondering if his rock had anything to do with that creek just showing up, right in the middle of the desert. After pondering a while, he put his rock on the ground and dipped his feet in the creek to cool them off. Little Bob, being all put out with them breaking down in the desert, picked up the rock intending to wash the mark off of it. When he put it in the stream, instead of the mark coming off Bob's rock, every rock in that stream took on the mark. It scared the be-Jesus out of little Bob and he dropped Bob’s rock amongst all the others.

Bob was pretty shook up too. And when he went to collect his rock, he couldn’t tell which one was the one he found across the pond. He finally settled on one and came on back to Corpus. He told us the story, including where that there creek was located, at a bar-b-q he threw when he got back and that's where these here things come from. Just wait 'til you own one!

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 GoliathRock™ or The Giant Killer makes no claim of any direct benefit from this product expressed or implied. This is a rock and if improperly used can cause damage, injury or death. Purchase at your own risk. There is no warranty expressed or implied with this product. This product is intended to be something fun and may or may not benefit the user.

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GoliathRock™. Email to bosses@goliathrock.com.

Copyright © 2005 [goliathrock.com]. All rights reserved. 

Revised: 02/05/05

Just read some of the amazing testimonials we made up collected!

"I was crazy until I bought a GoliathRock™. They let me loose yesterday!"

Bob, Humptown, PA.

"Girls used to ignore me til I put one of these in my pocket. Now they're all over me!"

Bob, Dimebox, TX

"I lost my boyfriend, my car got repossessed and I got fired. Then I got a GoliathRock™ and now I'm the CEO of a major corporation, drive a new Mercedes and have 3 boyfriends!"

Bobbie, Los Angeles, CA

"Where ya sposed to put this thing?"

Bob, New York, NY

"My boss chewed me out, then I got home and my husband chewed me out. I felt lower than a snake's butt in a rut. Then I got a GoliathRock™ and found the courage to tell them both what I thought of them!

Divorced and Unemployed, Houston, TX