Adam was the first man and Eve was the first woman and they were dating. They lived in a place called the Garden of Eden. Now, living in a garden, especially that garden, made for easy pickins and things were pretty darn good for Adam and Eve. They had all this fruit and all these vegetables just for the picking, see they were vegans in them days. That was quite some place. The weather was perfect all the time. Even better than Southern California 'cause the smog index was always low there in the Garden of Eden. Some folks built some high-rise condos there some time later, and the weather ain’t been all that good since Adam and Eve hightailed it.

 Well, as it turns out, God made this here Garden of Eden just for them and told them they would could just play and sing and laugh and do whatever they wanted, eat all the fruit and veggies they wanted, just as long as they didn’t mess with one tree. They weren’t 'sposed to eat any apples from the tree of “knowledge of good and evil.” I happened to be there at the time, there was a sales seminar going on a couple of miles away at the Eden Hilton, so I had to be there anyway. I had a couple of days off after the seminar and went to hanging around the garden, cause it was such a nice place, the weather and all. I’ve had folks pop off about me wanting to go look at the naked lady but it was the weather that I was after. Honest! Anyway, I was hanging around one afternoon and happened to see this big old snake wrapped around this here tree the first folks weren’t supposed to be eating from.

 This snake must have been a python or something ‘cause he was so durn big! (I don’t know my snakes all that well.) Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Eve heading that way. She was a brunette, about five-three, big brown eyes, great big… I digress. Anyway, when Eve came near the tree, I got the shock of my life! That durn snake started talking to her! My Hebrew ain’t that good, but I did catch enough to tell that the snake was egging her on, trying to get her to eat one of them apples that God told her not to mess with. She picked one of them forbidden apples then called Adam over. He wanted no part of the whole mess but she went to sweet talking, and cuddling and doing what a woman can do to a man, and pretty soon they were both eating that apple.

 When they got done, they tossed the apple core on the ground, and I went and picked it up, mostly outta curiosity. Right then, all of a sudden, the weather turned sour. Lightening struck right in the middle of that tree, scaring the devil outta me. The ground was shaking and the temperature dropped 50 degrees in about 10 seconds, and here I was dressed for winter. Without thinking, I shoved that apple core in my pocket, ‘cause I was so rattled and all. Anyway, I ended up packing them walking shorts with the apple core in the pocket and heading home. I still don’t know how I cleared customs with a piece of fruit in my suitcase. And that’s the story of how we got this here core. Now you can buy one of ‘em for your very own!

The depiction above is only a representation of the actual product. It will have a cool box and all.

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