All old Vasel Floyd was concerned with was staying warm. It was so durn cold where he was doing this surveying job, he told us, that when he would exhale the breath would freeze and fall to the ground and shatter. In fact, he told us that it got mighty distracting to try to do his job with that noise every time he let out a breath.

Anyway, one evening he packed up his gear and while he was waiting for his ride, he was watching this bunch of creatures he called “monkey folks.” He called them that because they walked on their feet just like folks, you know, stood up straight and all, but they kinda looked like monkeys. As he was watching, one of them stopped right in the middle of the field and just started looking off. Even Vasel Floyd knew what that look was but he figured they was too dumb to be thinking. Then it occurred to him what this one monkey folk was doing.

Vasel Floyd scared his hands when he started digging through his stuff like a man on fire. Then all of a sudden, he grabs this here piece of pipe that was capped on both ends and yanks one of the ends off of it. With the cap in one hand and the pipe in the other he starts sneaking up on this one monkey guy that was standing there staring off. He said the sneaking was real tough with all that shattering every time he puffed out but he managed to get close to the monkey guy anyway.

Pretty soon, this here monkey guy looked like somebody just yanked a hair outta his nose! His hands went out like he was about to fall, his eyes got bigger’n saucers and bloop, out come this thing from his head. Vasel Floyd told us later if it hadn’t been so cold, there was no way he coulda caught what he caught. He’d been noticing it all day. Every time him or one of his hands would think of something, the thought would just sorta hang in the air for a spell before it drifted off. He also knew that this here monkey fella was about to have a thought ‘cause every time he was about to think of something, he’d get that same look.

So, when that thought popped out, Vasel Floyd ran up with that there pipe and shoved it over the durn thing and capped it. And there he had it! The cold had been worth it, he told us. He knew he not only witnessed but captured the first thought them folks ever had. And the rest of the man type folks all come from them there folks so that had to be the first thought ever.

I don’t rightly remember what all we traded for that but I know part of it was a come-along I used to put that big motor in my pickup. And the time I come home after being gone three days with no shirt and lipstick all over me, it was the same come-along I used to get my third ex wife’s boot out of my…

Well, we got it now and you can have it. Sitting right there in front of you, on your desk, or the tool box, or the window sill of your trailer, the one right up by the hitch, you can display this here first thought. Whatever you do, don’t open the tube or it will be lost forever! It’s warmer now than it was back then and it won’t hang in the air long enough to grab it again. And, nobody knows what'll happen if somebody was to let the first thought loose on modern human beans!

This is what you will receive. The first thought captured and capped.

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